What is Real Self-Care?

How are you today? How are you really?

Have you had a chance to pause and check in with yourself yet?

This week I have been asking my yoga and coaching clients to focus on self-care.

I am always fascinated to know what self-care means to everyone. Many times people mention a long hot bath or a spa weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I love both, but they are more what I would call the ‘cherry on top’ than deep self-nourishment.

In our busy, demanding, patriarchal, consumerist lives (can you tell I am pre-menstrual?) we have moved so far away from what true self-care really is. 

For me, true self-care is deeply loving ourselves. How did you feel reading that? It’s a tough one to swallow, isn’t it? ‘She loves herself’ is an expression we often throw around as an insult, but what are the consequences of not loving ourselves? 

I read somewhere that ‘loving yourself is a rebellious act’ and I agree. How many companies would cease to exist if we decided we loved ourselves and our insecurities didn’t make us vulnerable to marketing? How many magazines would go under if we weren’t engaging with the divide and rule mentality of pitching women against each other and tearing each other down?

When was the last time you appreciated yourself? Not in a defensive way but in a reflective, kind way. In my coaching sessions, I often talk about our inner parents; the critical parent and the nurturing parent. We often hear the critical voice the loudest but what is the nurturing parent saying to you? What do you need to hear?

You might be skimming this, but go back to that. What do you need to hear?

Homework for you- close your eyes, take a deep breath and repeat the mantra; ‘I am more than my job, more than my role as a mother/ daughter/ friend… I am whole and deserve to deeply love myself’.