‘That horrible woman boss’

I talk about female empowerment, women’s leadership, and lifting each other up until it’s coming out of my ears, and inevitably somewhere in the conversation people mention that awful female boss they have had. So let’s talk Queen Bee.

Queen bee defined by C. Tavris, in 1973: “Queen bee” is a derogatory term applied to women who have achieved success in traditionally male-dominated fields. These women often take on “masculine” traits and distance themselves from other women in the workplace in order to succeed.

They may also view or treat subordinates more critically if they are female, and refuse to help other women rise up the ranks as a form of self-preservation, self-esteem, and a sense of identity

 Think Margaret Thatcher, rose in a male-dominated world but was not a friend to the women around her.  Queen Bees tend to judge women harsher than men, they want to emphasise how different they are from other women.

It’s a sad truth that we often get judged more by other women than men, ‘harder/ worse in my day’, ‘well we survived it’, are phrases we hear from our mothers and grandmothers. This can be incredibly damaging; it downplays sexism and discrimination; the idea that women have to be tough and put up with discrimination in order to rise to the top and those who speak out or complain are seen as weak and criticised by the ‘Queen Bee’.

So lets’ look a little bit deeper. It is easy to vilify these women and believe me, no one is more disappointed than I am when I hear how we are letting each other down. However, I believe these women are a product of the discrimination they have faced; they are a consequence of internalised patriarchy. Then are can only be a token number of women that can reach the top Machiavellian politics will arise. This is internalised patriarchy in action; the belief that for women to lead they must take on masculine traits.

So how do we stop it? We have to fix the organisations and structures where it thrives. We need to stop pitting women against each other and recognise female leadership traits such as collaboration, empathy, and diplomacy with the gravitas they deserve.

Don’t let the Queen Bee be a reason women don’t climb; statistics show that when a woman is at the top table, more women climb.